Where have you been?

My friend Jay pointed out that I've been derelict in posting here since I started law school.
True dat.
I just don't have the time to think through a decent post. Yeah, I know it may surprise you that it takes more than 5 minutes to rip one of these babies off and post it, but it does.
My schedule is packed. I come home every weekend to see Nicholas, which is definitely worth it, but it doesn't leave much time for chitchat during the week. So most of my contact with the outside world is limited to conversations with fellow students at school (usually about whatever happened in class), Facebook status updates and cell phone calls on the drive to and from Rockford.
The rest of the time I spend in class where I learn about escheat, assumption of risk and unconscionability. Which is AWESOME. It is really is a blast to be challenged intellectually. And when I'm not at home sleeping, I live in the law library in one of these carrels (pictured). Sweet, huh?

Running away with your mind

The parking lot for law students is more than a quarter mile walk from the law school. But the path is through a forest and over a gulch that has a long wooden bridge over it. It's rather scenic during the day, but at night it's a bit spooky. Of course, as a 6' 2" male, I'm not really worried I'll be mugged or assaulted, but that doesn't prevent my mind from getting imaginative when it's dark.

Last night I shut down the law library, so I had to walk out to my car at midnight. About three students from another part of campus were walking along a path that crossed mine before I entered the woods. I didn't know them so we just passed each other without a greeting. As I walked into the dark forest, my mind started its usual wandering. I told myself, "I don't believe in spooks, I don't believe in spooks." Then rational thought took over and reminded me that there was nothing to be afraid of. I crossed the bridge.

One of the threesome screamed. My back of my neck got cold. Then my rational mind took over again: I'm sure one of them was just fooling around, I thought. After all, who would take on three people? The attacker wouldn't be able to prevail against them all. Unless it was a huge blood-lusting monster with fangs and mouth tentacles and an insatiable hunger for human flesh.

If so, I thought, there's nothing I can do because I'll be mauled and eaten within minutes. So I walked to my car and drove home.

Touch of gray

Today I was over at Meegan's apartment discussing how we were going to handle Nicholas' transfer of placement when she looked at the top of my head and exclaimed, "You've got a gray hair!"
Actually, I had several. This caused her considerable glee.
I guess at the tender age of 31, my world weariness is finally catching up with me. I can't say I'm too surprised. Between the divorce, work stresses, caring for a hyper 5-year-old boy, trying to sell a house and getting ready to move, I think I've earned every one of those three gray hairs.
I've never been somebody who wanted to cling to youth. I've always wanted to be older, ever since I was a first grader hanging out with my sixth grade cousins. They seemed so sophisticated and grown up. I want the respect and wisdom that come with age. Meegan would tease me that I was an old man in a young man's body. Well, looks like the body is catching up with the soul.
So next week I'm going to get my will made up and start shopping for cemetery plots.

Early morning blogging

It's 3 a.m. and I can't get back to sleep. I woke up at 1:45 and haven't been able to nod off yet.
I must have reached a certain age where sleep becomes more precious and elusive because as a kid and a teen, I would've been able to fall right back to sleep.
But through the excesses of 21st century technology, I am able to lie in bed and blog. It's dark, but the glow of my backlit Palm is all I need. Besides blogging, I've been able to read the NY Times and the Trib as well as browse Blackberries. I'm hoping to replace this wireless PDA with a keyboard smartphone. I'm favoring the Pearl because it's small, but several folks have told me they don't like the keyboard setup. I guess I'll find out near the end of June when my current phone, a battered 2-year-old RAZR, becomes eligible for replacement.
Ok, I've blogged about nothing long enough. Hopefully I can sleep now.

Nicholas' impact on me

I realize after that last post what a normative effect Nicholas has had on me during the last year and a half. Meegan and I separated in November 2006 and since then he's lived with me.
The pain of the separation then was so great that I really just wanted to give up. As a recovering alcoholic, that meant anesthetizing myself with gallons of booze. As in, Nicholas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. But I couldn't do that because Nicholas lived with me. So I went to AA and stayed sober instead. I don't know if I would've done that initially without his presence.
Now I realize as I face feelings of loneliness again that Nicholas gets me out of myself and forces me to act like an adult (or my closest imitation of one). So in some ways, he's been my salvation.

Down time

I am so sad right now. I just feel empty and lonely. It seems I get shaky like this at least once a day. I don't like it and I'm always looking for something to relieve this feeling.
I think normal people just go through these times, but I can hardly stand it.
Nicholas was in Chicago with his aunt and uncle this weekend, so I had the house to myself. I had a lot of work to do because we're putting it on the market in a week. But I only completed two tasks: mowing the lawn and pressure-washing the garage and porch for painting. I couldn't do much more because I got so down and felt so alone.
I was glad when Nicholas got back. I asked my brother to come over yesterday too.

Givin' ain't easy

Gave my pint of O+ today. A few lessons learned:
1. I don't care how old you are, when a nurse sticks a needle the size of a coffee straw into your arm, it HURTS.
2. Don't stand up quickly after depositing a pint of blood from your body into a plastic bladder. It makes the nurses nervous when you say that you're dizzy.
3. Don't drink three bottles of apple juice in rapid succession after giving blood. Because it might as well be prune juice when you drink that much of it.
4. In fact, don't give blood at 9 a.m. at all. Wait until after lunch when you've been eating all day.

Out for blood

UPDATE: I just discovered that O is the universal donor, meaning anybody (type A, B, AB, O) can receive my kind of blood. I feel even more important now.

The blood bank called me up today and asked me to give a pint because they need more of my type, O+.
It's nice to be wanted.