Partially Caffeinated

New blog site

2009-03-23T00:44:00.002-05:00

Peeps:
If there are any of you still out there reading this blog, I migrated it over to Wordpress. The site offers better ease of use for me and a new look, too. Please visit and update your bookmarks and feeds accordingly.

On sekin thauwt

2009-03-16T22:36:00.003-05:00

You know, I may come back to thisaheer blog thingy. The dang new Facebook layout is givin' me fits. You'd think they'd stop a-changin' it evry dang week, but they jus cain't. I guess they cain't hep themselves.

Why this blog is dying

2009-02-28T21:20:00.003-06:00

The reason is Facebook and Twitter. Ever since I got on Facebook, I've been neglecting this blog, which anyone can see from the once-a-month posts. I'm not sure I'll be reviving it any time soon.
Facebook and Twitter suit my kind of running off-the-cuff commentary on the world. They also can be updated instantly from anywhere thanks to my phone.
Of course, this blog can too, which leads me to ponder why I love updating through FB and not my blog. And the only conclusion I can muster is this: Facebook is a captive audience. I know that my friends who log on regularly are seeing my updates. This poor blog, at its zenith, was read by about 10 visitors a day.
Blogging takes a bit of effort, some reflection upon events and thoughts before posting. I don't know why this is so, because you could just post two unedited lines of text like Twitter. But blogs seem to encourage more expounding. Facebook and Twitter just flatter that childish self-absorbtion - look at me, look at me! - and require minimal investment of thought and time. Which is not to say that I don't spend inordinate amounts of time on both platforms...
Speaking of which, if you want to follow my tweets, I am tayne_gheel on Twitter. Before you follow, a warning. I post incessantly.

I write the songs that make only a tiny part of the world sing

2009-01-28T18:20:00.005-06:00

In the pantheon of stupid ideas Rockford has come up with to justify itself to the rest of the world, I think I've found the greatest achievement. But first let's take a moment to remember a couple of the best...
There is the timeless Symbol welcoming drivers - and warding off evil spirits - along Illinois 251. I've always thought the giant red sculpture looks like a cross between a garish Christmas present bow and a medieval weapon.
There's my personal favorite, a tourism bureau advertising blitz from the 1990s. The tagline was "Rockford: A different kind of greatness." Huh?
But this one is the best by far. Apparently, the 'ole Chamber of Commerce once took it upon themselves to put together a collection of amateur songwriters' ditties on Rockford. Pure awful. Among the lyrics: "Catch a smile on the Whitman Street bridge."
Please, please, please visit this link and listen. I just can't do it justice here.

Relentless march of Progress

2008-12-28T10:02:00.004-06:00

In keeping with our dedication to providing the best infrastructure and state-of-the-art equipment here at the Partially Caffeinated Institute, our facilities management team recently invested in a new caffeine production system.
This brings the total number of coffee-manufacturing platforms at the Institute to five, although some of our methods have fallen into disfavor due to inefficiency. We have also abandoned the old burner warming system because, well, it results in charred brews.
So far the new thermal repository has been a significant technical advancement over previous methods.

The truth about law school

2008-12-21T00:43:00.002-06:00

So all my finals are over. Worst time ever. To all my readers who want to know what my life has been like in law school, I think this video sums it up better than I could:

Tribune falters

2008-12-09T13:09:00.003-06:00

The Tribune Company went bankrupt before my former employer, GateHouse Media. Who knew? But it can't be long now...
The great part about the Trib company is that the $8.2 billion deal to take it private was financed in large part through a loan against the employee's pension plans. Of course, the employees had no say in this and now the equity that their pension leveraged in the company is worthless. Of course, that douchebag Zell will get a shot at recouping the $500 million he put in, while the employees won't. Ah, capitalism...

Life change through purchase

2008-11-28T20:24:00.000-06:00

I was watching Star Wars IV when a commercial for the new liquid Aquos teevees by Sharp came on. A spokesman raved about the widescreen, contrast, pixels, etc. Then the tag: Change Your TV. Change Your Life.
Seriously? If I buy a $2,000 TV and my life will be different? That's it? That's all I've got to do? And here I've been wasting all this time trying to learn self-discipline and make better decisions...
What a crock.
But on second thought, I guess a big fancy TV would change my life. I'd be deeper in debt and spend less time building meaningful relationships with people and more time in front of the idiot box.

A funny thing happened on the way to Iowa City...

2008-11-17T12:25:00.004-06:00

As many of my loyal readers (all 10 of them) know, I drive back and forth to Rockford from Iowa City every weekend to see Nicholas. It's a low-stress drive with no traffic, which makes the three-hour trip easy. And my trusty Ford Explorer is a comfortable way to travel, even if the price of gas is prohibitive. Thank you economic downturn, for the drop in oil prices!
But anyway, last night I was driving back when the engine started making a funny noise. A rattling noise. At first I thought it was exhaust, but when I pulled over to check, it sounded more like a valve pinging with the hood open. Being a moron, I kept on driving. About 120 miles into the trip, the truck lost power and I limped it off of I-80 near Bettendorf. I didn't make it very far toward town and it quit completely on a dark, lonely road. A cheerful tow truck driver picked me up about 11:30 p.m. and took my now useless vehicle to a Ford dealership. He dropped me at a nearby hotel. When I talked to the Ford mechanic the next day, he informed me that the engine block was now a 1,000 pound paperweight because the crankshaft wasn't moving at all.
Waah-waah-waaaahh.
So he wanted almost $5,000 to put a rebuilt long block into it. I took a pass and found a friend in the Quad Cities to point me to a reliable mechanic who's going to charge me $2,800 to replace it with a used engine. Thanks to the relative comparison, that price sounds like it's not so bad even though it's a disaster. Right now I'm waiting in the hotel lobby for a ride to the car rental place so I can get back to Iowa City.
Good times, good times.
Highlight of the story? When the tow truck driver pulled up and jumped out of his cab. Before he started working the hydraulic controls, he looked up and pointed out a cloud above us in the crisp night. The moon was creating an areola of light around it. Sublime.

Freezing up

2008-11-06T23:04:00.001-06:00

There's one part of law school that strikes terror into the hearts of every potential student: the Socratic method. The way that all professors teach law is by quizzing students on the previous night's reading, which is always a bunch of judicial opinions. Some professors can be quite demanding, especially if it becomes clear that the student did not do the reading. Most will keep asking questions until the student reaches the end of their knowledge. Some will let a lost student just flounder as a hundred classmates sit, the silence bearing down on his or her fragile psyche. So the first weeks of school are spent in fear of being called on.

But I found a trick to avoid the entire Socratic ordeal. I can participate on my own terms by volunteering answers when the professors ask questions. Then I avoid the pressure of being called on because I'm already participating in the discussion.

This week in contracts class I was scrambling to write down some notes on the case we'd just finished reviewing and wasn't paying attention to the introduction of the next one. So, of course, the professor called on me. All I heard was the end of his question, the part that went, "...what do you think, Mr. Leg?" (He gets my name wrong every time. I've stopped correcting him.) My chest tightened and my throat got dry. Thankfully, he uses PowerPoint, so I scanned the slide and took a shot at the answer, which was about determining damage calculations for certain contract breaches. I took a stab at it and was right. Of course, this professor doesn't just want the "right answer." No, he always pushes for more analysis until you're finally out of your depth. He's always gracious, but he doesn't mess around. So he asks what the justification for this kind of decision was, a big picture question outside the scope of a particular case. He wanted an underlying principle of contract law, but I wasn't sure exactly what he was driving at. I rambled on an idea for a minute and said, "Well, I'm just thinking out loud here."

"That's ok," he said. "You're good at it."

A compliment from a chaired professor! A guy who earned his J.D. from a top 20 school, who's been teaching contracts at the University of Iowa since the year I was born, who has written several textbooks on the subject and who studied at Oxford as a Fulbright scholar. I felt pretty good...

Buh-bye, GateHouse

2008-10-24T20:31:00.006-05:00

A former co-worker just emailed to inform me that my old employer, GateHouse Media, is now worth 7 cents a share. Seven...cents...
Thanks to its nauseating plunge to the bottom of the deep end, GateHouse stock was de-listed from the NYSE today. It's market capitalization is now about $4 million dollars. Um, yeah. That means the Register Star could sell its $27 million press for scrap metal and come up with enough dough to buy all 100 newspapers in the chain.
This is what happens when a fledgling corporation builds an acquisitive business plan dependent on leveraging easy credit -- and then the entire global lending system collapses. It shows just how negatively Wall Street views newspapers that no investor has swooped in to snatch up the company; GateHouse's collective paper clip supply is worth more than $4 million.

A tour for Nicholas

2008-10-22T19:08:00.001-05:00

This is a tour of my Iowa City apartment for Nicholas' benefit.

Wake up Mr. West!

2008-10-20T09:23:00.000-05:00

On Thursdays and Fridays, my law school section has an 8 a.m. class. It's the only one we have all week, but I've noticed a trend. On Fridays earlier in the semester, a couple students would straggle in late. Once a rather bleary-eyed, scratchy-faced student trudged in an hour after class began. One of the legal fraternities sponsors a weekly after-hours at a different local tavern on Thursday nights. It's pretty popular among law students. Seems to have an effect...
But now the trend of blowing off the subsequent morning class is picking up speed. This Friday, half a dozen students didn't bother to show up. Because the professor teaches the same class later in the morning, several students have taken to showing up to that one instead.
I sort of have to chuckle to myself when observing the hibernation habits of the recent undergraduate. You just can't get away with rolling in whenever you want in the "real world." And there aren't make-up work days. Oh well. They'll figure it out...

Where have you been?

2008-10-17T21:20:00.004-05:00

My friend Jay pointed out that I've been derelict in posting here since I started law school.
True dat.
I just don't have the time to think through a decent post. Yeah, I know it may surprise you that it takes more than 5 minutes to rip one of these babies off and post it, but it does.
My schedule is packed. I come home every weekend to see Nicholas, which is definitely worth it, but it doesn't leave much time for chitchat during the week. So most of my contact with the outside world is limited to conversations with fellow students at school (usually about whatever happened in class), Facebook status updates and cell phone calls on the drive to and from Rockford.
The rest of the time I spend in class where I learn about escheat, assumption of risk and unconscionability. Which is AWESOME. It is really is a blast to be challenged intellectually. And when I'm not at home sleeping, I live in the law library in one of these carrels (pictured). Sweet, huh?

How we really chose presidents

2008-10-06T19:16:00.006-05:00

Today's N.Y. Times op-ed page has a great graphic comparing the height and weight of presidential candidates.
Taller guys beat shorter guys by a 2-to-1 margin and heavier guys prevailed over lightweights with equal dominance. But I took the N.Y. Times analysis one step further and combined the two measures. In the 28 elections since 1896, the winner was either heavier or taller than the loser in all but three cases, thus proving beyond all doubt that Americans want the bigger guy when deciding who should run the free world. The most recent exception was Bush v. Gore; Al Gore is an inch taller W, but we all know he actually won the election, so there's an exception that proves the rule.
Harry Truman, a man of average stature, beat Thomas Dewey, who stood a full three inches over him. Likewise, Teddy Roosevelt was two inches shorter than Alton Parker when he won in 1904. But both men had reputations for their outsized personalities, so again, I say they're exceptions that prove the rule.
Where do these statistics leave our current candidates? Obama is 6' 1½" and 180 pounds. John McCain is 5' 7" and 165 pounds. There hasn't been a president as short as McCain in a hundred years. The closest weight was Calvin Coolidge, who was only four pounds heavier, but he was still three inches taller than McCain. Turn-of-the-century president William McKinley was 5' 7", which was the last time such a short man was president. And, well, he was shot to death in office.
Every president in the television age has been at least 6 feet tall (Well, Nixon was 5' 11½").
Who will win in November? You decide.

Bring your "A" game...

2008-09-18T23:23:00.004-05:00

I just turned in my first writing assignment as a law student. It's a legal memorandum, which is essentially a document intended to boil down the main issues in a given case so anyone at a firm who reads it can get up to speed very quickly on the matter.
Being a print journalist by training, I feel pretty confident that I can write coherently. However, this is not a newspaper story. It's a whole different kind of writing. Plus, the entire law school experience has served to knock me back on my heels, so I've gotta operate at top of my game.
My writing instructor will get the memo tomorrow and critique it and from her syllabus, it sounds like she edits pretty hard. So I decided to check out her credentials. Um, yeah. She went to Penn (That's the Ivy League, for those of you following along at home) for her undergrad. She studied law at Columbia, a top 10 school. Then, after practicing for awhile, she earned an MFA from the Iowa Writer's Workshop, which is the most prestigious graduate program for creative writing in the country.
So yeah, I'm getting a very well-qualified set of eyes looking over my work. And you know what? I'm really kind of looking forward to it. I kind of hope she takes my draft apart because I would like some suggestions to improve my writing. Plus, this first draft is just pass/fail.

Content overload

2008-09-13T22:02:00.002-05:00

My apologies for the lack of posts. Law school has crimped my ability to think about anything other than "The Law." The Law is something that you say in a deep, booming voice. You also spend most of your waking moments thinking about it when you're studying it. I'm sure I could write insightful posts explaining the difference between assault and battery or musing about why intentional infliction of emotional distress is a very difficult tort with which to establish a cause of action. I'm not sure you'd read them. My first writing assignment is due next week. It's a five-page memo analyzing a set of three different cases about the same tort. Right now, I'm taking a break from reading about the Uniform Commercial Code, which governs transactions that involve the sale and delivery of "goods." And of course, we're going to be lawyers, so we spent half of the last class period debating what "goods" are. Are the data on a computer software CD goods? If a stylist puts gel in your hair while cutting it, that's a goods transaction in the midst of a service, so should it be governed by the statute?

That's what I've been doing for the last two weeks. But now, I have to stop and drink this all in. I'M STUDYING LAW. LAW!!! I don't have any good reason to expect to attain such a profession. My father is a tree husbandman. My grandfather was a baker. My great-grandfather was a farmer. I'm only the second generation of my family to have a college degree. And here I am, studying to join a bona fide profession. I can't believe it.

Running away with your mind

2008-09-05T21:41:00.003-05:00

The parking lot for law students is more than a quarter mile walk from the law school. But the path is through a forest and over a gulch that has a long wooden bridge over it. It's rather scenic during the day, but at night it's a bit spooky. Of course, as a 6' 2" male, I'm not really worried I'll be mugged or assaulted, but that doesn't prevent my mind from getting imaginative when it's dark.

Last night I shut down the law library, so I had to walk out to my car at midnight. About three students from another part of campus were walking along a path that crossed mine before I entered the woods. I didn't know them so we just passed each other without a greeting. As I walked into the dark forest, my mind started its usual wandering. I told myself, "I don't believe in spooks, I don't believe in spooks." Then rational thought took over and reminded me that there was nothing to be afraid of. I crossed the bridge.

One of the threesome screamed. My back of my neck got cold. Then my rational mind took over again: I'm sure one of them was just fooling around, I thought. After all, who would take on three people? The attacker wouldn't be able to prevail against them all. Unless it was a huge blood-lusting monster with fangs and mouth tentacles and an insatiable hunger for human flesh.

If so, I thought, there's nothing I can do because I'll be mauled and eaten within minutes. So I walked to my car and drove home.

Back to my old pursuit...

2008-08-26T14:19:00.007-05:00

One narrative that's been overlooked here since the start of law school is the continuing implosion of my former newspaper.
Last Monday, the paper announced another 13 layoffs. These are in addition to the 20 buyouts they did in May. I have a hard time understanding how the financial outlook changed so much in four months that they had to cut payroll again. It's like a bunch of kids are running the newspaper business now. No planning, no vision, just reaction to crises.
I'm so glad I got out. But the sad thing is, nearly everyone I know is trying to get out -- especially people my age who've spent 8-10 years in the business. An excellent political reporter I know left a few years ago to pursue law. The best writer I've ever worked with, who became a city editor, is finishing her teaching certificate so she can change careers. Another talented reporter is considering PR work. My career mentor now works for a university communications department. A former newspaper colleague freelances exclusively after being laid off this summer. Last week I met a 3L here at Iowa who used to work for the Peoria Journal-Star. A law school classmate left the Des Moines Register.
Who will mind the till? Editors can try to put on a brave face, but it's a downward spiral because the revenue side of newspapers isn't going to improve. That means more payroll cuts, more reductions to the news product and fewer and fewer readers as the value of the newspaper diminishes. Oh, and don't put your hopes in the internet. It doesn't make money...

P.S. A single share of GateHouse Media, the owner of the Register Star, is trading today at 64 cents. A newspaper off the rack costs $.75.

The real first day

2008-08-26T08:58:00.008-05:00

So I haven't had a chance to update this blog, but I did survive my first week of law school -- even though it was "just" orientation. I also choked on my first exam, a multiple choice and essay test that I muddled through. Two words: Pass/fail.
The good thing is I was able to spend Saturday and Sunday with Nicholas. We went to Magic Waters where he wanted to go on every single ride: the tube slides, the tunnel slides, the water "roller coaster," the kid-sized body slides, the wave pool, and the lazy river. I was exhausted, but we had fun.
Anyway, today is the real first day of law classes. For me that's Torts, Contracts and then Legal Analysis, Writing and Research. It's a long day. Torts begins in 40 minutes with Vosburg v. Putney, the sad tale of a sickly Wisconsin teenager from the late 19th century who gets kicked in the shin and develops a nasty infection that causes lameness. The boy who kicked him (tapped with his foot, really) is found liable for the damages: $2,500. Morale of the story is you're on the hook even if you didn't intend the harm and the damage is grossly magnified by the victim's own fragility.

Third day: Time for drastic action

2008-08-20T20:58:00.004-05:00

This orientation week is GRUELING. I'm told by other 1Ls (1st year law students) that this is the worst week of reading we'll have all year. Supposedly this is coming from the upperclassmen, but it may also be wishful thinking on our parts. But seriously, I cannot imagine taking this level of abuse for another year. If this is how the workload is, nobody would ever go to law school. Tonight we have 58 pages to read. Folks, we're not talking about US Weekly here. We're talking about flippin' legal history and half a dozen case summaries. The case law is written by judges and read by lawyers, so it uses completely unfamiliar jargon. Know what a demurrer is? Neither do I. Did I mention we have a final exam for this 1-credit immersion course? On Saturday morning?
In light of tonight's near impossible task, I see no recourse but to salvage the overripe Missouri peaches I bought from Hy-Vee by baking a cobbler.

Second day: History and compelled labor

2008-08-19T20:12:00.006-05:00

Today, on the second day of law school orientation, we learned about English common law systems. Don't you wish you were here? Want to know what a "writ" is? Or what is the difference between the Court of Exchequer and the King's Bench?
What is striking to me is that the legal system we now have is not solely the product of the U.S. Constitution or any intentional act of legislation, but is rather a hodgepodge of centuries of court decisions dating back to 11th century England. The common law courts were really an offshoot of the power struggle between the fledgling monarchy and the landed aristocracy that dominated the feudal system. Basically, the king used a system of courts to centralize his own power and undercut the land-owning lords. But then, the desires of British monarchs have held sway on Western cultural development for a millenium. Take English Protestantism. Britain would still be Catholic if Henry VIII hadn't wanted a divorce in contradiction of Rome's teaching.
After this intellectually stimulating tour through English judicial history, we spent the afternoon in hard manual labor. The class' inaugural community service project included moving sandbags from a hastily built floodwall meant to keep the rising waters out of an Iowa City well. I am exhausted, my back hurts, my face is flush from the sun and I have a headache. I'm in the law library now reading the 30 pages for tomorrow's class. It took an evening quadruple espresso to get me here though.
Yet, I feel strangely satisfied by all this.

First day

2008-08-18T12:44:00.002-05:00

It's finally here. The first day. So far the Class of 2011 has been addressed by the dean, the president of the state bar association and an Iowa Supreme Court justice.
We've also had our first class and witnessed the Socratic method in practice. Nerve wracking. But the possibility of being grilled by your professor ensures you read your cases. The guy next to me hadn't read the exercise and of course, was called on to explain it.
A helpful warning...

The latest advancement

2008-08-16T11:46:00.004-05:00

Thanks to the urging of a friend of the Institute, we here at the Partially Caffeinated headquarters have made significant capital investments in our research laboratory. The Mr. Coffee espresso maker (pictured, right) was acquired for $40 through a generous grant from the Jitters Foundation.
While the do-it-yourself stovetop latte has provided much of the Institute's baseline data on caffeine consumption over the years, the appointment of our head researcher to law school makes easy access to espresso no longer just a luxury, but a categorical imperative.
So thanks, Howard, for the advice. The machine makes four shots of espresso at a time -- all of which can fit handily in a regular mug for morning coffee!

Trouble in paradise

2008-08-16T11:06:00.002-05:00

For those of you keeping track at home, there are less than two days before I start law school. I all moved into an apartment in Iowa City, but I'm having some trouble with my connectivity.
Hoping to avoid paying for broadband, I hooked up my cell phone as a dial-up modem with my laptop. Only problem is, I'm getting zero reception in my apartment. The best laid plans of mice and men...
Anyway, blogging could be light for a while until I can get decent service. Right now I'm "borrowing" someone else's unsecured wireless signal.

The final countdown

2008-08-10T09:18:00.004-05:00

Ok. I have one week until law school starts. Now I'm nervous.
I've got to organize, pack, move, unpack and make sure all my affairs are in order. I know I'm not going to get everything done.

Nicholas loves dogs

2008-08-06T21:28:00.003-05:00

I'm staying with a friend who has a large chocolate Labrador, Charlie. I've had Nicholas spend the night several times with me. He loves this dog. Now he begs to visit so he can play with him.
Earlier this week after I got him ready for bed, he decided that it was time for Charlie to go bed too. Here's video of him singing a lullaby to the dog in its cage.

Latest quest for caffeine

2008-07-30T23:29:00.004-05:00

Researchers here at the Partially Caffeinated Institute are experimenting with a newly discovered caffeine delivery system: guarana. This is a berry similar to coffee, but with more caffeine! An amazing new find that demands extensive testing and consumption.
This morning our lead researcher consumed a Starbucks tallboy with guarana and ginseng and was pleasantly satisfied with its effects. A mild pickup without serious burnout.

Urban wildlife?

2008-07-28T17:34:00.001-05:00

I just saw a vulture on Harlem Boulevard. A vulture. In a residential neighborhood.
Tried to take a photo to prove it to you, but he flew away when I got out of the car.

Reflections on department stores

2008-07-27T11:11:00.003-05:00

One thing that's true about the life cycle of business is reinforced by my last post. Industries start with a bunch of vibrant small players until consolidation begins, the industry matures and eventually declines.
Department stores grew in the late 19th and early 20th century by being all things to all people, selling clothes, home goods, luxury items, and offering exemplary service. Although Marshall Field's grew dominant, there were dozens of dry goods retailers in Chicago back then. Eventually Field's got big enough that it forced out the smaller players and controlled the market. But now it's in its dotage and little upstarts that specialize in one thing - like watches - are stealing market share.
Another thing about Field's - it was a racist outfit. Besides pricing at the top of the marketfor upper middle class whites, it never tried to attract immigrants who filled Chicago in it's ascendancy - other department stores did. And blacks were outright refused service. So I guess if the institution dies, it's getting its just desserts.

It's not lost on me that newspapers are susceptible to this cycle and are getting beat to death by their smaller competitors, a.k.a. Craigslist, Monster.com and other online ad venues. Don't let anybody fool you. Newspapers are not "competing" with blogs. Nobody reads blogs for local news, and most blogs link to the MSM anyway. The real competition is from other platforms that sell advertisements. Because the bottom line is, that's what newspapers make money on.

Why I'll never shop at Macy's

2008-07-26T23:15:00.004-05:00

The battery on my Fossil watch died this week, so I went out to the department store formerly known as Marshall Field's to get it replaced. When I first got the watch years ago, a Field's clerk adjusted the armband with a special tool for me, so I figured they had the equipment to take the back off and install a new battery.
But Marshall Field's is dead. Department store chain Federated bought the Chicago icon a few years ago and turned the entire chain into Macy's so it could save money printing gift boxes.
Anyway, the clerk at Macy's said they don't change batteries. What?! I was pretty frustrated by that, so she directed me to Dakota Watch Co., one of those crummy kiosks that clutter every square foot of the mall. The friendly clerk manning the display was in the middle of eating her dinner, but she replaced the battery on my watch for $17 with a 2-year warranty.
So a kiosk that sells $39.99 watches in the middle of the mall can provide better service to me than one of the oldest department stores in the country. Lame. No wonder department stores are dying...

Waterproof?

2008-07-19T23:57:00.002-05:00

I'm giving Nicholas a taste of camping tonight by sharing a tent with him in the orchard at the farm where my parents are staying this summer. But I'm getting a pretty good mouthful too. It's about midnight and it's POURING rain. As a former Boy Scout, I knew how to pitch this tent to stay dry. But I can't help but wonder if the waterproofing will hold up under this torrent when tiny droplets of water are hitting my skin.
At least Nicholas is sound asleep. Wish I was too...
The rain smells good though. And the thunderclaps are immense.

Another bump on the way down

2008-07-18T10:27:00.002-05:00

GateHouse Media, the corporate parent of my newspaper, just got another ding. The New York Stock Exchange won't let the penny stock trade on the floor any more unless it can stay above $1.10 for an entire day. That's looking unlikely, so it's possible the stock could be delisted.
What a ride it's been -- from a $20 IPO just three years ago to getting thrown out of the NYSE. Sweet.
Note that there are 30 days until I become a law student...

Our latest research

2008-07-15T22:37:00.006-05:00

I am experimenting with a new favorite coffee: Medaglia D'Oro. It's a ubiquitous Italian espresso roast in a can that I picked up on a whim. I haven't been making my own drip coffee for probably a year now because it doesn't make sense to brew a pot when you're only going to have a few cups. Plus, there's plenty of mediocre drip coffee at the office.
Instead, when I want coffee at home, I make myself a little espresso in my little espresso pot. I ran out of espresso beans a long time ago and in desperation started grinding up my regular Colombian whole bean. While this off-label method makes a decent cup of strong coffee, espresso it is not.
So to return to a real dark Italian roast has been a treat. So strong. Thick like motor oil. And zowie, a straight caffeine blast.
As they say in Italy: Buon appetite!

I know that guy!

2008-07-12T19:34:00.003-05:00

I'm not a golfer and I never have been interested much in golf. In fact, I still think it's a hoity-toity sport for old, rich white guys. And if I ever become an old, rich white guy, I'm still not learning how to play golf.
But this year I've probably paid more attention to the PGA Tour than ever before. I watched Tiger Woods face-off with Rocco Mediate at the U.S. Open. But now pro Kenny Perry is on a tear, which is awesome because he's the only pro I've ever met.
Last year I tagged along with a sports reporter to the Rockford Pro-Am, the longest-running standalone amateur event in the PGA, because he needed help taking video during the day. Kenny Perry comes nearly every year. But this year was special: I was standing among a crowd at one of the tees when an errant golf ball whistled overhead and struck something soft with a thud. That something was Kenny's chest.
Later on, we interviewed Kenny about it -- he had an icepack strapped on under his shirt. I got his autograph and gave it to a friend of mine who loves golf. But the best part was the injured Perry hit a hole in one that day.

Downsizing

2008-07-09T08:54:00.003-05:00

Intelligensia coffee is going to stop selling coffee in 20-oz cups, according to this story.
It may come as a surprise, but I support this decision. Yes, we must consume more caffeine, but we're not barbarians here at the Institute. No, we enjoy the sweet pleasures of black coffee, it's aroma, it's bouquet, along with its mind-sharpening chemical booster. Buying coffee in tall-boy means you end up drinking cold coffee before you're finished. And who wants to pay $3 a cup for a room temperature beverage?

Low-dollar deal

2008-07-08T16:37:00.005-05:00

UPDATE: Today (Wednesday), we learned that last month was our newspaper's worst drop in profits in year-over-year comparisons in 10 years. The economy is terrible.

A share of stock with my company is now worth less than a short cafe latte.
Hoo boy. Pretty soon I'll be able to buy the whole corporation company by taking out a title loan on my Ford.

Lightning strike

2008-07-07T20:39:00.002-05:00

Whoa! Nicholas and I were just driving to the store in a thunderstorm and we saw a lightning strike blow up a transformer - from about half a block away!
Ok, that was pretty cool.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2008-07-03T10:17:00.001-05:00

There's something we like to do a lot here at the Partially Caffeinated Institute, and that's change everything.
In May, I informed you that the house I've lived in for the last four years was for sale. It had a few interested parties, but no offers. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, Nicholas' mother and I decided it was best to change plans. Now we'll keep the house: She's moving in with him and he won't have to move at all.
This made a lot more sense than going through the stress of trying to sell the house, close on the house, have her move into a new apartment and then move Nicholas there as well.

Scientific limits

2008-07-01T19:06:00.004-05:00

Here at the Partially Caffeinated Institute, we conduct research testing the limits of human coffee consumption. But we always put safety first. Using formulas proved worthy after decades of improvement, we've determined exactly how much caffeine a person can consume before complete organ failure.
We offer this site in service to mankind. According to our experiments, it would take almost 85 cups of drip coffee to kill our director.

Final rejection

2008-06-30T19:14:00.002-05:00

My last rejection letter for law school arrived today. It was from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, which had put me on its waiting list earlier this year. I left myself on it even though I knew I wouldn't be going there once University of Iowa accepted me. But I liked Wisconsin and would've given it serious consideration without Iowa in the picture.
That makes five acceptances, two rejections and one deferral. The deferral would have become an acceptance or rejection, but I withdrew my application because it was the University of Illinois and I didn't really want to go there.
As the countdown reveals, 48 days until I start law school. Just 30 until I leave my job.
I received my orientation packet from Iowa last week. Besides the usual "congratulations on your acceptance" and "law school will be the most important experience of your life" messages, there was this one: Have your fun now, because starting Aug. 18, you belong to us.

Aspirations

2008-06-23T08:47:00.002-05:00

Nicholas was watching a DVD show with firefighters this morning. They put out fires, he told me.
Do you wanna be a firefighter? I asked.
No, he replied.
What do you wanna be when you grow up?
A bumblebee.

Asking for directions

2008-06-22T22:54:00.006-05:00

I was walking across the street this afternoon when a battered blue minivan pulled up next to me to ask for directions. In the passenger seat was Latino man with a buzz cut and unshaven whiskers. He asked me for "dohj street" in broken English and pointed to a street address scrawled on the back of a folded yellow paper.
I've lived in Rockford nearly all my life and I've never heard of a Dodge Street. A quick look on my Treo's Google Maps confirmed it -- there isn't such a street in Rockford. Then he showed me the rest of his chicken-scratch note:

1111 dodge st
duplex, iwoa
52003

Then I realized -- he was trying to get someplace in IOWA. Whoa. I told him he was in Illinois. He groaned. I asked, where are you coming from? Miami was the answer.
The minivan was full: half a dozen Spanish-speaking adults on the seats and their gear crammed into the recesses. They chattered back and forth in their tongue, unintelligible to me. I assume they were migrant workers, coming up here to meet someone with nothing more than an address and a cursory grasp of the language. Later, I tried to imagine what it would be like to try and travel 1,500 miles in an unfamiliar country -- especially as a stranger.
To try and help out, I turned to Google Maps again and searched the address based on the ZIP, I came up with Dubuque, Iowa -- the town he wrote as "duplex," I'm sure.
Even though this caravan was about 90 miles away from his destination, I could at least help a little. They were only four blocks from East State Street, which is Business U.S. 20, so I sent them back that way and told them to take it west all the way. It goes straight through Dubuque.
They should have made it by now. I really hope they did.

Wild cats

2008-06-22T16:19:00.002-05:00

Spoken by Nicholas while looking outside for his mom's cat:
"Where's Willow? I think she's having a cat party with all her friends. I had a party when I turned 5."

Touch of gray

2008-06-21T20:51:00.007-05:00

Today I was over at Meegan's apartment discussing how we were going to handle Nicholas' transfer of placement when she looked at the top of my head and exclaimed, "You've got a gray hair!"
Actually, I had several. This caused her considerable glee.
I guess at the tender age of 31, my world weariness is finally catching up with me. I can't say I'm too surprised. Between the divorce, work stresses, caring for a hyper 5-year-old boy, trying to sell a house and getting ready to move, I think I've earned every one of those three gray hairs.
I've never been somebody who wanted to cling to youth. I've always wanted to be older, ever since I was a first grader hanging out with my sixth grade cousins. They seemed so sophisticated and grown up. I want the respect and wisdom that come with age. Meegan would tease me that I was an old man in a young man's body. Well, looks like the body is catching up with the soul.
So next week I'm going to get my will made up and start shopping for cemetery plots.

Great plan, guys! Lemme know how it works out

2008-06-18T21:54:00.007-05:00

The start-up company that bought my newspaper a year ago is about to implode. GateHouse Media was formed four years ago when two bottom-feeding newspaper chains -- Liberty Group Publishing and Community Newspapers -- met in a dive bar five minutes before closing time. They were too drunk to see straight and went home together. Because they both specialized in raping small community newspapers, it was a perfect match.
The new company's CEO, Michael Reed, was lauded as a savior to the flagging newspaper industry. The fledgling company created a "hyperlocal" strategy: delivering content in small markets where newspapers still own the advertising dollar. Using cheap borrowed money, GateMouth gobbled up small dailies, including Gannett's Rockford Register Star, which became one of the largest papers in the new chain.
The company IPO'd at $18 a share in 2006 and a New York hedge fund, Fortress Investment, held a majority of the stock, which paid dividends -- a sweet gimmick attract shareholders.
Then the magic faded. Ad revenue tanked. Thanks to the mortgage meltdown, free-lending banks got kinda stingy with their dough. A year ago, GateMouth was trading near $20 a share. This week, its share price fell below THREE DOLLARS. That's an 86 percent free-fall in value.
If its stock chart were a ski hill, you'd break land speed records going down the slope. And then you'd crash and die...
Last quarter earnings showed a 4.2 percent slide in same-store revenue. Operating margins were barely wide enough to slip a credit card through. That's bad news when you're $1.3 billion in debt and promising your shareholders a dividend payout every quarter.
So long story short, analysts are now predicting the dividends will evaporate so the company can pay its own bills (including $24 million in debt service payments). And with them the last few shareholders will vaporize too since they were only hanging on to the penny stocks for their dividend anyway.
Did I mention that this media company shaved payrolls at nearly every paper it bought in the last year? We lost six people in my newsroom through buyouts. Now we've got one editor for every two reporters.
So one of three things is going to happen: GateMouth is going to start sloughing off its newspapers to stay afloat or file for Chapter 11 protection and slough off its newspapers to appease creditors.
Man I'm glad I'm getting out of this @!#$*& business.

Law school swim team

2008-06-18T20:38:00.005-05:00

Most of eastern Iowa is flooded right now, including the university I'm planning to attend in less than two months. The Iowa River, which runs through the middle of Iowa City, has been over its banks all week. It beached the arts campus and a residence hall had to be shut down.
But the good news (for me) is that the University of Iowa's law school sits on a hill above the river and it would take a Noah-style deluge to get water into it. My apartment building is even farther away from the angry river. Here's what the dean has to say about it.

Who is this guy?

2008-06-17T12:39:00.003-05:00

This is just to damn bizarre not to post. Watch it without context:

Father's Day festivities

2008-06-16T22:41:00.004-05:00

I had dinner with my parents on Father's Day. Visit my flickr site to see a few photos from the evening.
My mom and dad are back in the states for the summer and staying at an old farmhouse out off south Main not far from the airport. There's a strawberry patch on the property, so we had strawberry shortcake. Mmm-mmm. I wish I would've gotten a photo of that, but I ate mine too fast to think of it. And then I ate Nicholas' because, well, he left it sitting on the porch stairs.

Waste-land

2008-06-16T18:44:00.003-05:00

I'm at Chipotle, eating dinner outside and a teenage or early 20s girl pulled in and parked her black Mercury Mountaineer next to me. She ran inside and left it running. By my watch, the gas-guzzling hogmobile ran for at least 7 minutes while she ordered a meal to go. Gas is about $4.10 a gallon around here. She didn't leave it running to keep it cool inside the cab; the windows were down and it was a pleasant spring night anyway.
Clearly, someone is not paying for her own gas.

Oh, the agony

2008-06-16T17:11:00.001-05:00

My left wrist is aching thanks to the ailment that is the bane of every desk jockey: carpal tunnel. A colleague called it the wuss' disease.
But people, it HURTS. I couldn't get to sleep last night it hurt so much.
I wonder if my precious, precious Treo is contributing to this inflammation. Typing messages with my thumbs on a keyboard smaller than a business card can't be good for the nerves in my arm.

Mobile blogging

2008-06-11T15:47:00.004-05:00

I just got a new smartphone and I am in love. It's a Treo 680, which is there entry level model. As annoyed as I was with Palm after the debacle I had with them over my TX, I opted to stay with their line rather than forsake $200 in software that's only compatible with their operating system.
Now I can do everything with this handy gadget. I can check email, go online, use my calendar, make shopping lists, look up contact information, edit documents, etc.
I can even post to my blog from this device. In fact, that's what I'm doing right now.

Memorial Day pics

2008-05-27T07:42:00.003-05:00

I posted photos of Nicholas at the Memorial Day parade on my Flickr site yesterday.
After about 45 minutes, we both got bored and decided to head back to the car. But first we stopped at Millenium Fountain. I ran into some friends who have four kids of their own, plus some stragglers. Seeing some kids was all it took for Nicholas to run right into the water and get soaked. The dad from the other family saw his kids run in and started to call out to stop them -- but caught himself. It's Memorial Day and you're only a kid once.

Do not taunt Happy Fun ball

2008-05-23T13:19:00.005-05:00

My colleague Melissa used to work in a bureau, a remote outpost deep in the bush of Boone County. Now she works in my office. Yesterday, she had this interchange with a reporter who's still out there in the bureau about an iPod alarm clock thingy that she left there. Jerry is another employee who works out there...

From: K
Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2008 11:35 AM
To: M
Subject: your clock

Hey, your alarm clock/radio goes off every day at 3:30 p.m. and we don't know how to stop it.

From: M
Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2008 11:36 AM
To: K
Subject: RE: your clock

ok, that's super-weird. just unplug it maybe??

From: K
Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2008 11:36 AM
To: M
Subject: RE: your clock

We did. But it kept going anyway. Then, Wednesday, it killed Jerry. Now the walls won't stop bleeding.

So much for that idea

2008-05-21T22:17:00.003-05:00

I said I was going to buy a new car to save money on gas. Note past progressive tense of "go." Upon further investigation, buying a tiny car that gets twice the gas mileage of my Ford Explorer will not save me money at all. In fact, it will cost me much, much more.
How can this be, you ask. Well, it seems that every buffoon in America who bought an SUV over the last six years has decided to dump it in favor of more fuel efficient models. So the trade-in market is glutted with gas-guzzling trucks. My dealer will give me $500 less than what I owe on my Ford. Nice. That means I'd have to come up with about $1,100 now to cover the loan payoff, plus tax, title and license fees.
Then I found out that insuring a motorized skateboard built in 2005 is far more expensive than insuring a loaded SUV built four years earlier. Like about $130 more every six months.
So being the industrious fellow I am, I calculated what it would cost me to buy the little car versus to keep the big Ford, which will be paid off in 18 months. And guess what? Over the course of three years of law school, owning the Kia would save me $2,500 in gasoline, but still cost nearly $3,700 more than keeping the Ford thanks to the extra payments and insurance premiums.
Guess I'll keep the road hog. So much for reducing my carbon footprint. Can't say I'm too sad about this. It's much more fun to drive down the highway in the Explorer.

House for sale

2008-05-21T10:34:00.004-05:00

The house went on the market yesterday. Take a look. It's a steal.
Both Meegan and I are sad about selling it. It's was our first house. It's huge: four bedrooms, 2,000 square feet, nice yard. Good for a big family. We put a lot of work into it. I refinished the floors and did the landscape. She painted and decorated it. Our plans for it disintegrated with our marriage, so it's bittersweet to say goodbye to it.
But I guess I feel good that someone else will be able to write their family story in it. I hope it's a good one.

My child is brilliant...

2008-05-19T19:55:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, I desperately needed to mow the lawn. The grass was so tall that safari groups were losing their way in it for days. But Nicholas was with me so I asked him if he wanted to come outside and ride his bike while I mowed so I could keep an eye on him. He said, no, I'd rather watch a movie.
So I told him he could come outside whenever he finished. I left the back door open and absentmindedly shut the door between the kitchen and the back porch -- forgetting that even though that door has no lock, Nicholas can't twist the 90-year-old doorknob enough to open it himself. So I had unwittingly locked him in the house.
About 10 minutes later, I'm blazing away on the lawn, oblivious to any sound other than the roar of the mower. My neighbor's son runs up and yells that my car alarm is going off. I run around to the garage and as I do, I look up at the living room window and see Nicholas inside, tears streaming down his face.
He was beside himself because he couldn't get out of the house. He must have tried to get my attention through the windows because his stuffed bunny was lying next to the front door glass. But I couldn't hear him. So possessing advanced critical thinking skills at the age of 5, he pushed the panic button on my car key fob and set off the alarm to alert me.
After I calmed him down, he confirmed my theory. I didn't even know he understood what the red horn button meant on my key chain. But he figured out a way to get my attention. My child is a genius...
And I am a horrible father.

Perks

2008-05-16T11:34:00.003-05:00

Today I'm working from home because I don't have child care. So I'm sitting at a picnic table at a park watching Nicholas play and writing stories on my laptop.
I should work from home more often.

Good answer

2008-05-15T20:44:00.004-05:00

A man staggered under the crippling burdens of his life, falling to his knees in despair before all of Heaven. He raised his hands in agony, demanding of God, "Why me, Lord?"

And a Voice from Heaven rang out, "Why not you?"

(Stolen from commenter 'Jean' in this post)

Bye, bye comfort and luxury

2008-05-15T18:39:00.007-05:00

I have to buy a new (used) car. My 2001 Ford Explorer is getting way too expensive to fill up -- I'm going to hit $75 a tank with gas approaching $4 a gallon. Did I mention it sucks down petrol at the rate of about 14 miles a gallon in the city?
I'll probably be driving back and forth regularly to see Nicholas after I go to law school, which is a 175 miles one way. So I'm opting for an economy car.

A part of me died to write that.

You see, I thought I had given up little cars for good when I bought my honking SUV two years ago. My 6'2" frame fits inside it comfortably. I can haul stuff. I can stomp on the gas and it moves. It's fun to drive in the snow. When I commuted back and forth to the suburbs every day, I drove a Hyundai Accent and then a Saturn SC2. While the Hyundai was acceptable because it had some headroom, I hated the Saturn because it was too low slung.
But the cold, hard reality is that I'll need a commuter car again to trek between Iowa City and Rockford. Blecch. Here's the hatchback I'm considering, a 2005 Kia Rio Cinco.
There's pros and cons to this deal. Here they are...
What I'll get:
Twice the gas mileage.
Warm feelings knowing that my carbon footprint is diminished (yeah, I wasn't really losing sleep over that one anyway).
A CD player that works consistently (who cares, all my music is MP3s now anyway).
What I'll have to do without:
Cruise control
Power windows
Tilt steering that actually accommodates my frame.
Power door locks
Stretching out my legs while driving.
Power mirrors
Acceleration
Power seat adjustment
Cargo room and a roof rack
A quiet, smooth ride
Antilock brakes
Less expensive insurance rates
Enjoyable driving

Playground photos

2008-05-10T14:53:00.003-05:00

I just put up new photos of Nicholas on my Flickr site. They're from our trip to the "Castle Park" today. That's what he calls the old Project Playworks, a massive wooden playground that I played on as a kid. Come to think of it, I also made out with a girl there as a teenager.
It was moved from northeast Rockford out near the Speedway in Machesney Park.
Anyway, discerning viewers will notice that Nicholas is wearing the exact same shirt in both the playground shots and the bowling pics from February. That's because he chose his own clothes today.

Early morning blogging

2008-05-10T03:21:00.003-05:00

It's 3 a.m. and I can't get back to sleep. I woke up at 1:45 and haven't been able to nod off yet.
I must have reached a certain age where sleep becomes more precious and elusive because as a kid and a teen, I would've been able to fall right back to sleep.
But through the excesses of 21st century technology, I am able to lie in bed and blog. It's dark, but the glow of my backlit Palm is all I need. Besides blogging, I've been able to read the NY Times and the Trib as well as browse Blackberries. I'm hoping to replace this wireless PDA with a keyboard smartphone. I'm favoring the Pearl because it's small, but several folks have told me they don't like the keyboard setup. I guess I'll find out near the end of June when my current phone, a battered 2-year-old RAZR, becomes eligible for replacement.
Ok, I've blogged about nothing long enough. Hopefully I can sleep now.

Taxes and tasks

2008-05-09T20:20:00.005-05:00

I received my property tax bill in the mail today. It will be the last one I get for a while because the house goes up for sale on Monday.
Here's a fun fact: The Rockford Township assessor thinks my house is worth $100,146. Yeah, right. I might be able to get that price if I left it on the market for 18 months. It's going to list at $94,000 and I'll be happy to get $92,000 for it. The local real estate market went into the tank last year. Some say it's getting better, but as long as we break even with this house, I'll be happy.
So I've got to paint the porch, clean the place, straighten up the ramshackle basement and replace some broken plaster before the end of the weekend.
I'll let you know how it goes.

Hundred days

2008-05-09T07:04:00.003-05:00

According to my counter on the right, there's 100 days left until I start law school. As much as I'm nervous about the transition, I'm also excited for a fresh start.
Lots of things will change before that first day though. My house is going on the market Monday. There's only about 90 days from when I'll actually move to Iowa City.

Nicholas' impact on me

2008-05-06T16:49:00.003-05:00

I realize after that last post what a normative effect Nicholas has had on me during the last year and a half. Meegan and I separated in November 2006 and since then he's lived with me.
The pain of the separation then was so great that I really just wanted to give up. As a recovering alcoholic, that meant anesthetizing myself with gallons of booze. As in, Nicholas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. But I couldn't do that because Nicholas lived with me. So I went to AA and stayed sober instead. I don't know if I would've done that initially without his presence.
Now I realize as I face feelings of loneliness again that Nicholas gets me out of myself and forces me to act like an adult (or my closest imitation of one). So in some ways, he's been my salvation.

Down time

2008-05-05T09:22:00.004-05:00

I am so sad right now. I just feel empty and lonely. It seems I get shaky like this at least once a day. I don't like it and I'm always looking for something to relieve this feeling.
I think normal people just go through these times, but I can hardly stand it.
Nicholas was in Chicago with his aunt and uncle this weekend, so I had the house to myself. I had a lot of work to do because we're putting it on the market in a week. But I only completed two tasks: mowing the lawn and pressure-washing the garage and porch for painting. I couldn't do much more because I got so down and felt so alone.
I was glad when Nicholas got back. I asked my brother to come over yesterday too.

A pinwheel spin

2008-04-29T18:52:00.002-05:00

Here's Nicholas enjoying a birthday present from his grandparents in China. Warning: video may cause dizziness.

Mixing metaphors

2008-04-27T23:30:00.001-05:00

On Saturday it was so windy that Nicholas & I lost a kite. But before that, we were driving down the street & he said:
"The grass is blowing like a shimmering volcano."
Yeah, he's a poet.

Givin' ain't easy

2008-04-25T23:47:00.001-05:00

Gave my pint of O+ today. A few lessons learned:
1. I don't care how old you are, when a nurse sticks a needle the size of a coffee straw into your arm, it HURTS.
2. Don't stand up quickly after depositing a pint of blood from your body into a plastic bladder. It makes the nurses nervous when you say that you're dizzy.
3. Don't drink three bottles of apple juice in rapid succession after giving blood. Because it might as well be prune juice when you drink that much of it.
4. In fact, don't give blood at 9 a.m. at all. Wait until after lunch when you've been eating all day.

Quit yer whining

2008-04-23T09:22:00.009-05:00

I know I bellyached about working last Saturday, but it turned out to be great. I got to cover a speech by Sister Souljah. Here's my article about it.
For those of you who forgot, Sister Souljah (as in, Soldier) was the little-known community activist who recorded a few tracks with Public Enemy in the early '90s. But her big time exposure came in 1992 when she answered a question from a Washington Post reporter about what was motivating the Los Angeles rioters:

I mean, if black people kill black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people? You understand what I'm saying? In other words, white people, this government, and that mayor were well aware of the fact that black people were dying every day in Los Angeles under gang violence. So if you're a gang member and you would normally be killing somebody, why not kill a white person? Do you think that somebody thinks that white people are better, or above and beyond dying, when they would kill their own kind? (emphasis mine)

That italicized chestnut earned Souljah the rebuke of then Arkansas Gov. Bill Clinton, who used the comment in his presidential campaign as a way to distance himself from black extremism and reassure Southern whites that he could stand up to black folks. Calling out Souljah for her racism was a little like being against terrorism or lukewarm coffee. I mean, who isn't? Now, using that kind of political grandstanding to engender solidarity with a certain voter base is known as a "Sister Souljah moment."
Anyway, back to the speech. It was enlightening to hear her speak because while it's easy to dismiss her as an extremist, her perspective resonated with most of the black audience that night. There's so much lingering resentment among black people that Souljah's not so far out of the mainstream. It's also unfair to judge her on one or two soundbites because most of her talk seemed like a sermon imploring her black audience to stand up, stop imbibing corrosive hip-hop misogyny and hedonism and take control of their destiny.

Out for blood

2008-04-22T17:21:00.005-05:00

UPDATE: I just discovered that O is the universal donor, meaning anybody (type A, B, AB, O) can receive my kind of blood. I feel even more important now.

The blood bank called me up today and asked me to give a pint because they need more of my type, O+.
It's nice to be wanted.

For the last time

2008-04-19T14:50:00.003-05:00

I have to go to work now. On a Saturday. I hate this part of my job.
But... this will be the last time I will ever have to work for a newspaper on the weekend.
Yes.

Signs of the age

2008-04-19T10:45:00.001-05:00

Nicholas has a new obsession: Street signs. Every time he sees one, he has to ask what it means. He's especially fascinated by the red circle and diagonal line motif, the ones that prohibit whatever symbol is inside the circle. Like No Parking, No Trucks, No Smoking.
Then, of course, he must quiz me on why no dogs or whatever are allowed. His mom even bought him a book about signs.
The park district signs are especially instructive because they have three prohibitions and one rule for pets. So every time Nicholas sees that one he says:

"This sign says no guns, no parking on the grass, no drinking beer. And if you only have a dog, you have to scoop its poop away."

Every single time.
Yesterday we were at the ice skating rink and he noticed the sign prohibiting ice skates on the concrete bleacher stairs. Of course, he wanted to know why. I said, because the skates will chip the concrete and ruin it.
So today, he sees a No Trucks sign and asks why. I said, because trucks will ruin that road if they drive on it.
In a moment of epiphany, he says,

"The trucks will chip up the road, just like the ice skates will chip up the stairs."

Smart guy.

How hot was it?

2008-04-17T14:21:00.001-05:00

It's 83 degrees in my office. 83 degrees! And it's only 73 degrees outside...

Cougars: Our greatest threat

2008-04-15T20:37:00.004-05:00

The Trib has another follow-up story on the cougar that Chicago police shot after it wandered into Roscoe Village. Freak occurrence, but of course a bunch of mambie-pambies whined that they should have tranquilized the thing and relocated it. Yeah, sure. Let a giant carnivorous beast wander the streets while you call in animal control. Oh wait, how many doses of cat tranquilizer will it take to knock out a mountain lion, sarge?
Sheesh. It's sad that it was shot because it's a magnificent animal, but c'mon.
But that wasn't the best part of the story. Here's a break-out tips box:

ENCOUNTERING A COUGAR
- Pick up children immediately.
- Do not approach it. Give the cougar an avenue for escape.
- Do not run; this can trigger an attack.
- Back away without turning your back on it.
- Do all you can to look bigger. Don't hide or crouch down.

Mmm-khay. I'll make sure to remember those tips FOR THE NEXT TIME I RUN INTO A COUGAR IN THE THIRD LARGEST CITY IN AMERICA!

Time keeps on slippin', slippin'

2008-04-13T22:58:00.003-05:00

I've installed a countdown clock to tell me just how long until I must report for orientation and begin my law school career. It's a little over four months as I write this. Or 126 days. Or 3,032 hours. Or 181,978 minutes.
But who's counting?

Out of the way

2008-04-12T07:17:00.003-05:00

There's a spot behind the dresser and the wall, the one where dust, small change and loose buttons accumulate. I've fallen in there, too.
And there's no one to pull me out.

Pay attention to me!

2008-04-10T18:42:00.001-05:00

Time for a little Thursday fun:

If a secret is told in a newsroom, is it really a secret?

2008-04-09T22:30:00.006-05:00

A funny thing happened thanks to this blog. Several weeks ago I decided to stop avoiding the issue and start posting about my law school pursuits. It seemed kind of lame to have spent an entire year without blogging about the most important goal in my life.
The reason I'd been avoiding it was because several people from work read this blog. But I thought, hell, everybody in the office already knows I'm going to law school, so I'm not fooling anybody. I did not, however, take the time to think out the logical ramifications of that assumption -- namely that if everybody in the newsroom knows, then so does my editor-in-chief, the one who hires and fires. And of course, I made the decision to tell the world about my plan to change careers just a couple weeks before the company announced plans to cut staff.
So last week I get a cheery email from her congratulating me on my acceptance to Iowa and inviting me to come talk about it. And, oh, by the way, she knew all along and had been patiently waiting for me to come tell her. Only now, she wouldn't wait any longer because of the newsroom staff cuts. I'd been keeping my head down waiting to see if anybody took the buyouts before telling her about my plans. But she beat me to the punch. Oh well. Good news is, she isn't signing my walking papers yet and will keep me until I'm ready to go later this summer. But I suspect my position may evaporate or morph into something else.
Here's what she wrote in her weekly update email:

Just one more thing: Congratulations to Nate Legue on his acceptance into law school at the University of Iowa. Yep, I know. Yep, Nate knows I know. I am delighted he is reaching so successfully for his dream. So how did I know: Well, there's this little thing called the Web…. Thanks, Nate, for being such a good sport and for being part of the newsroom. If you do go, you will be missed!

Anyway, the Register Star was my first "real" job in newspapers, so I'll miss it too.

Dodging the bullet

2008-04-09T22:23:00.003-05:00

At the monthly company meeting today, our publisher announced that 19 people had applied to take the buyout package offered earlier this month. With about 14 positions frozen already, it sounds like the company has more than enough jobs to cut without actually forcing layoffs.
Sweet.

From the Filipina side

2008-04-09T07:14:00.005-05:00

An former coworker of mine started her own blog. I only worked with her for about a year, but we grew close. She's a sweetheart; she moved into the Chicago area to help take care of her mom. She called me her kuya, a Tagalog term of respect that means literally "older brother." I miss her, but I'm glad the internet means never having to say goodbye.
Check out her blog.

Go Hawkeyes!

2008-04-01T20:28:00.002-05:00

I've made my decision. I will pursue a juris doctor degree at the University of Iowa College of Law this fall.
After all this hard work, after nearly two years of preparing and testing and applying, I must exult in this moment. I will attend the University of Iowa.
This choice has more meaning to me than just the school's ranking as a top 10 public law program. Its significance dates back to my high school days when I was applying for undergrad. I wanted to go to Iowa because of its reputation for writing. I was accepted and enrolled, I even attended the orientation. But I never went there because my parents decided it was too much money. I went on to flunk out of most of my community college classes and flounder for several years before finishing up my bachelor's at a commuter school.
Looking back, I realize that missing out on Iowa was devastating to me. I really wanted to go there. And I also know now that money is not a barrier to attending college.
So the truth is, attending Iowa vindicates something deep inside me. When I first set out on this law school process, Iowa was what I set my sights on. It was the best school I applied to.
And now I'm going to go there.

Slight miscalculation

2008-04-01T19:47:00.003-05:00

The admissions dean at Loyola called to tell me today that I am the first runner-up for the Adreani half-tuition scholarship. That means that I'll get it if the winner takes a pass. But the two women who control the foundation "liked" me so much that they offered me $6,500 a year, which in addition to the $11,000 Loyola already awarded me, would amount to half of my tuition bill. So I essentially got the scholarship anyway.
But here's the thing I didn't realize. When Loyola granted me admission, they offered me that $11,000 or a third of tuition. I just assumed that the scholarship would be in addition to that, making the total award better than three-fourths of the bill. But today I found out that the Adreani scholarship would replace the original amount.
Anyway, I'm honored that the two sisters (not nuns, real sisters) who run the fund were impressed enough with me that they were willing to help me out so generously.

Buyouts

2008-03-27T07:30:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, the head of my newspaper announced a 6 percent payroll cut, which means 20-25 people have to go. They'll do voluntary buyouts first, then layoffs if they don't get enough people.
I'd take a buyout because I'm leaving at the end of July anyway, but the severance is a week's pay for every year of service. Despite the fact that I have worked at the Register Star for close to 4 years combined, they would only recognize my last stint, which isn't quite two years. So I'd get a sweet one week of pay! Not leaving for that.
Anyway, it sucks because we haven't done layoffs in about a generation. Our core revenues, meaning revenue from ad sales and subscriptions in the actual print daily newspaper, are down 17 percent. Ouch.
Our other products (internet, specialty publications, commercial print jobs) are doing fine and of course, we still make money. I'm guessing double-digit returns. But that's not good enough in an industry used to 30-35 percent profits. So buh-bye to some long-term employees.
I picked the right time to get out of this miserable industry.

The first hurdle to law school

2008-03-22T15:57:00.005-05:00

So back to my law school odyssey...
The first thing I had to do before applying to law school was take the LSAT. Law School Admissions Test: The cruelest standardized exam ever created. Six hours to administer. Five sections, one of which is unscored and pointless. Only you don't know which one. An essay isn't scored either.
Now, I've always aced standardized tests. I earned a 32 on the ACT in high school. I was a National Merit honorable mention for the PSAT. But that was 13 years ago. Apparently you get dumber as you age. The first time I took a practice version of the LSAT, I scored the median, which is about 150. Decent law schools would laugh at that score. So it knocked all the arrogance out of me. Which was a good thing.
I spent six months studying. Every weekend, I went to the public library and staked out a table in a far back corner for several hours to take practice tests. Hours! In the library!
The test has three different kinds of sections: logical reasoning, reading comprehension and analytical reasoning. Logical reasoning was straightforward. Premise, conclusion. Is there a logical fallacy? Had to brush up a bit. Got a little rusty with logic while working as a journalist.
But reading comprehension was easy because that's what I do for a living: Read and write. So I consistently scored best on this section. That's a good thing, because I had to make up for the last section: analytical reasoning.
Analytical reasoning, also called logic games, is the cruel part. I prefer the moniker "godforsaken story problems written by tormenting demons from the 7th ring of hell." Questions would set up complicated relationships between objects or people, schedules and sequences. They would go something like this: There are two shifts a day to clean the hotel. No one works on Monday or Friday. No more than two workers clean per shift and no worker can work two straight shifts. If Kathy works the first shift on Tuesday, Sally works the second shift that day. John and Jose always work the same shifts. Margo always works on Saturday. Etc., etc., etc. Then the question would ask what day Constantine worked or something like that. You'd have to construct a little system in your mind, draw it out and try to ascertain relationships. It was grueling. I'm no good at this. After doing this section type over and over and over, I finally got to where I could finish 75 percent of the questions before time ran out. That was as good as it gets.
When I went to Beloit College for the test day, I was nervous. In a good way. I was just edgy enough that I knew I'd be alert and focused. The test rules were draconian. You couldn't bring anything in that remotely resembled an electronic device, including a cell phone, mechanical pencil, digital watch or blank sheet of paper. The things you could bring had to be in a clear Ziploc bag. You had to be fingerprinted before taking the test. It was ridiculous. But I'm sure there are cheaters, so I guess I didn't mind.
I earned a 163, which was in the 88th percentile and my average score on practices. So I knew I did as well as I possibly could. I received the news by email on a Saturday afternoon and was so ecstatic I sent out a text message to everyone I knew. I had to tell somebody in person, so I went out to my neighbor (a lawyer by training) working in his yard and I told him about my score.
I found out some law applicants who scored 162s, 163s were going to retake the test because they were so disappointed with their scores. That thing was so damn hard that I was pleased with my score and overjoyed that I won't ever have to take a hellacious test like it again.
Oh wait, there's the bar exam...

Quote of the week

2008-03-21T01:13:00.002-05:00

Heard this quote in a speech last week and scrawled it in my notebook:

Up, sluggard, and waste not life;
In the grave will be sleeping enough.
--Ben Franklin

Good words.

Here comes the cavalry

2008-03-20T08:38:00.005-05:00

Internet retailing and rapid silkscreening have given rise to a Cambrian explosion of pop-culture T-shirts. On sites like cafepress.com, you can upload a design, choose some shirt styles, and they'll make and ship the shirt if somebody orders it. Comedy catchphrases, ironic icons and pure silliness abound.
Within 24 hours of seeing the infamous YouTube video of the University of Florida student getting tased, the multimedia editor at my newspaper had created a cafepress T-shirt with a lightning bolt and "Don't Taze Me, Bro!" emblazoned on it. Unfortunately, he was late to the game: There were already four or five similar shirts up.
When I see an ad for these kind of cottage industry shirt shops, I usually visit because they're funny. But I've always resisted buying one. Until now. I think this shirt conveys the underlying sentiment of most Obama supporters, so I'll wear it with pride.
And irony.

She's baaaack

2008-03-19T11:51:00.003-05:00

The best blogger I know, Mappy B, inexplicably discontinued her top-rated blog "Confessions of a Cartographer" last year to the dismay of tens of readers throughout the country. But the blog bug is a tough condition to cure, so she's back again. Check out her new site.

The first step is admitting you have a problem

2008-03-18T08:35:00.002-05:00

Jay pointed out in comments on my last post that the real reason I stayed up until 3:30 a.m. Sunday night is because of the "siren call" of the Xbox, not too much caffeine. Okay, guilty as charged.
My tax return was the gateway to this new addiction. I used part of mine to buy a console. But I can rationalize it; it's my reward for finishing the arduous law school application process.
Now that I have an Xbox, I've reached the highest levels of nerd-vana. I bought Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. I'm dreaming in first-person shooter mode. Yesterday I blinked and saw ghosts of virtual soldiers charging me. I heard a Lifeline helicopter fly overhead last weekend and immediately thought of seeking cover to avoid fire from its deadly minigun.
Soon there will be a PTSD diagnosis for gamers who play too much deathmatch.

Foolishness

2008-03-17T03:24:00.001-05:00

I drank a cup of coffee at 8 p.m. It was my only cup of the day. So when I laid down at 11:30 to sleep -- nothing doing.
I went and played on my Xbox for an hour to wear myself out. Four hours later, I feel tired again. It is now 3:30 a.m. and I will start my "nap." Alarm rings at 6:30.
I have no one to blame but myself.

Wasn't expecting that...

2008-03-13T22:35:00.002-05:00

So I went to visit Iowa a week ago and I loved it. Although the other schools that accepted me -- Loyola, DePaul, Saint Louis -- are all very good, there's a definite difference between a Top 25 (Iowa) program and the second-tier colleges. You can feel it when you visit, when you talk to the students, when you listen to the faculty.
So I set my heart set on the University of Iowa. Then a few days ago, Loyola calls me and asks me to come in for an interview. I'm a finalist for the Kenneth Adreani scholarship, a need-based, half-tuition grant. Combined with another scholarship they've awarded me, the Adreani one would make my out-of-pocket tuition costs at the Jesuit law school about $6,500 a year. That's couch cushion money compared to the average tuition, which is something like $32,000 a year.
The only trouble is, I really wasn't that impressed with Loyola when I visited. Something just didn't sit right with me. But if I win the scholarship and they'll pay for nearly all my tuition, um, I can probably overlook a few things.

Why law (Part II)

2008-03-09T01:02:00.002-06:00

When I tell people I want to become a lawyer, they either encourage me or they say something like, "Is there any way I could dissuade you?"
I'm sure if I wanted to be a doctor, nobody would try to stop me. People respect doctors. Oh well.
In the minds of most Americans, lawyers are slightly better than cockroaches and a little worse than journalists. So, it will only be a slight loss in social standing for me. Plenty of people already don't like what I do.
But pursuing law will be a HUGE challenge. That's a big reason for choosing this path: to stretch myself. My academic background is utilitarian, not prestigious. I earned my associate's degree at a community college before I commuted to a compass-point state university to finish my bachelor's. My undergraduate studies were not very challenging -- I didn't buy textbooks in some classes because I never had to crack them to learn the material. My major, journalism, isn't exactly a mind crusher.
I never believed that I should (or could) rise beyond mediocre. I'm an underachiever. So I want to find out what I'm capable of in a demanding college setting. To whom much has been given, much will be required. I can't keep giving minimum effort and expect my life to be satisfying decades from now.
The study of law is rigorous. At every school I visit, the professors and administrators talk about how I'll learn to "think like a lawyer." What they mean is the education will make me a better critical thinker, teach me to synthesize volumes of information quickly, and show me how to reason coherently.
The lawyer who promised me lunch described law school this way: It takes your brain out, reorganizes it and puts it back in. It gives you a how new way of looking at the world. That kind of education is good for me no matter what I choose to do.

Thanks, Days Inn!

2008-03-07T06:32:00.004-06:00

I had a terrible night's sleep. This could be because:

My bed was like a rock.
I can hear my neighboring hotel guests in their rooms.
I'm too excited to visit the University of Iowa.

It's probably all three. Good thing my excitement will fuel me during the day, because my rest level isn't going to.

Iowa and crummy lodging

2008-03-06T22:27:00.003-06:00

I'm in Iowa City right now (well, technically Coralville) because I'm going to an open house tomorrow at the University of Iowa College of Law. Writing that sentence makes me realize how exciting this is. I'm at IOWA! I COULD GO TO IOWA!
I'm sorry for the outburst, but ever since I learned about the Writer's Workshop, the university's prestigious creative writing M.F.A. program, I've wanted to attend school here. Though I won't be writing a novel as a law student, maybe I can get in a few writing classes and sit next to some future Pulitzer prize winners and Nobel laureates.
Getting to see the law school tomorrow almost makes staying in this cheap hotel worthwhile. I can hear my neighbor's television right now. When I first entered the room, it was about 62 degrees in here. Well, I knew what I was getting into when I booked a room for less than $60. At least it has free Wi-Fi. And the sheets were changed ... I hope.

Why law? (Part I)

2008-03-05T18:33:00.003-06:00

"If you want to write well and live well at the same time you better arrange to inherit money."
-- Flannery O'Connor

O'Connor was talking about fiction writers, but her comment applies to just about anybody who earns their wages by stringing words together.
I don't know when I starting thinking about being a lawyer. But I know why I did: Money. Journalists barely earn a middle class living. I've been working in newsrooms for seven years and I still make less than skilled tradesmen my age. My industry is cheap.
Somewhere along the way I realized that writing alone is not going to give me financial security. I wouldn't care if I were only responsible for myself, but I have Nicholas. I want him to go to college someday without worrying about paying for it. I don't want him restricted by financial burdens when he starts out in life.
So that's my crude reason for pursuing law. Stay tuned for more reasons...

A free lunch

2008-03-03T15:06:00.003-06:00

I just made a phone call to the managing partner at a major law firm in town to claim something he promised me. I was interviewing him in his office nearly two years ago for a story when I realized I could be a lawyer.
He took me to lunch so I could pick his brain about the profession and has been very gracious to me ever since. He asked me where I wanted to go to law school. I said "The University of Iowa" and his eyelids raised and he said, "That's a good school." I don't know if he doubted that I could get in there, but he was definitely surprised I was setting my sights so high. When I ran into him months later, I told him that I would get in and he replied that he'd take me to lunch again if I did.
So it felt good to call him this week to redeem that lunch.
I was accepted at the University of Iowa College of Law earlier this month.

Mobile blogging

2008-03-01T14:47:00.000-06:00

I just set up my pda email to send posts directly to blogger. This is a test.
Of course, I'm sitting at my dining room table with my pda right next to my laptop as I write this.

What I haven't written

2008-03-01T10:53:00.001-06:00

I was reading some of my old posts and I realize how much more interesting this blog was when I started it almost two years ago. The reason for that is I have avoided the two most important, life-changing situations that have occurred in that time: my divorce and my decision to go back to school for law.
I don't know if I'll ever write about my divorce on this blog. That kind of thing takes years to gain perspective on and I'm not sure I trust my insights at this point. Suffice it to say that Meegan and I separated 15 months ago and our divorce was finalized in November.
But I've avoided talking about law school for for a simpler reason: some folks from my office read this blog. Last week, several editors approached me at different times to ask me about law school acceptances, so I know that somebody who knows about my plans blabbed in a newsroom meeting. Oh well. Journalists can't keep things quiet. It's against our nature.
So the point is, there's no point in keeping it a "secret" on this blog any more. I'm going to law school in the fall. My next few posts will be about the two-year-long odyssey I've been on to get to this point.

That didn't take long

2008-02-29T19:15:00.000-06:00

Today I imbibed my first cappaccino in weeks. Tasted just as good as ever. Did notice that my energy level dipped about 90 minutes later...

Betrayal, Part Deux

2008-02-26T15:31:00.004-06:00

I'm undermining the premise of this blog once again. I haven't had a sip of coffee in more than a week, which is about two decades in caffeine addict years. Almost two weeks ago, I was taken ill by the worst bout of influenza I've had in five years. I couldn't eat for three days, let alone drink coffee. Which means on top of the fever, chills, coughs and excruciating bodily pain, I had a splitting headache from caffeine withdrawal. Yes people, I suffer withdrawal symptoms when I don't drink enough coffee. I said I'm an addict.
So when the plague passed, I didn't pick up the coffee again. It's always refreshing to drop caffeine. I can go to bed at 11 and get up at 6:30 and not feel exhausted. I don't crash at 3 p.m. when the caffeine levels in my bloodstream dip to dangerous levels after a morning of slurping cup after cup. I'm not so irritable. In so many ways, my life is better without coffee.
The bad part is, I've had a nagging headache for almost two weeks. So I know I'll go back to that sweet, sweet nectar sooner or later.